Four Stages and Christmas Wishes
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Even when it seems the darkest times have come...there is still a light that shines through.
My friend, who I've known since middle school, informed me recently that he had a medical condition. He's been hit by a car and he's been having fatigue for a couple of weeks but never had I thought that he could die. He didn't tell me a lot of detail but he did tell me that the doctors found something in his skull that they couldn't identify and he only had a limited time to live.
It was during first period PE and I was just shocked. I went through the four stages.
Stage One - Denial
I tried to tell myself that he was pulling some kind of a sick trick on me. I kept telling myself that he wasn't dying...that he was just lying. I hoped...I prayed that he was lying.
Stage Two - Anger
I got so angry. Why him? Sure, he wasn't exactly the best guy in the world but he was still my friend. And it didn't exactly help that a few of my friends were making unnecessary jokes like..."When you die, could you watch over me?" Even his GIRLFRIEND said something dumb like that. That's right...his GIRLFRIEND. How STUPID is that? This guy just told you that his days are numbered and you make insensitive jokes about it?!
Stage Three - Depression
I was depressed for a while, that's why I didn't update my stories. I wrote a series of sad snippets. I prayed, asking God over and over again why it had to be him? I began to remember all the good memories we had and to think that there was a possibility that those would be the last memories? It really affected me. I barely spoke, I kept my eyes downward and I was just so mood-killing. Usually, I start off strange conversations and hype up my other friends with my random play of words or topics. But I didn't so the atmosphere was somewhat...dead.
In my fourth period, my teacher tossed out a plant that had died. And that really...hurt.
Stage Four - Acceptance
My prayers were answered. I asked for a solution to my depression. My friend talked to me one day, and she told me very wise words..."If you're sad, it'll affect him as well. Not only does he have to deal with his own problem, but he's going to be feeling guilty for making you feel so depressed. So for his sake, be happy."
Be happy for his sake.
I think God was speaking to me through my friend and I realized that it was true. So I slowly built my way back up the ladder and became my usual self.
He's only got a limited time, we don't know when it's over but all we can do now is make them awesome days.
I have three wishes this Christmas.
My first Christmas Wish is for him and my other friends to come to know God as I do.
He's an Atheist, he doesn't believe in anything. But I think it's because he thinks it's too late for him anyways.
I want him to come to know Jesus and God as I do.
I am a Christian. And if you are not, I've only got one thing to say:
"But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in who land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord." - Joshua 24:15
My second Christmas Wish is for my mother to get better. My mother went to the hospital because they thought there was something wrong with her brain. But it was just a false alarm (Once again, thank you Lord). But she did have high blood pressure. She came home, and we were supposed to help her recover. But I think her maternal instincts take over and affect her health drastically. She's always concerning about us when we're perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves. So I want to make her realize that what we need right now is for her to get better.
My third Christmas Wish is rather simple. I wish that everybody would have a great Christmas, no matter if they're Christian or not.
I started a new story: "Broken Love" starring BeBu dedicated to my friend in his current situation. So go read and support it.
Thanks for listening to my religious rant.
But I just have to spread out what my Lord has done for me.
What about you? What has he done for you?
Nothing?
Well, think again.
That's all I have to say for now,
Spread the Christmas Joy
Keep this BeBu Train Moving!
Ice Queen.